.Publisher's Details: The complying with is the content of a character from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reflecting on the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created significantly regarding specifics of the goal during the month I've been listed here, mainly for 2 reasons: the 1st being that there has actually been very little opportunity to carry out that type of writing, and also considering that I am actually uncertain exactly how relaxed I am discussing thought and feelings I share with friends and family with the rest of the planet.Properly, obviously the planet changed today. What I say or carry out is really small matched up to the importance of what took place to our country today when it was actually attacked through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is all we understand, I reckon. Tough to understand at whom to route our rage and anxiety ...I had actually merely ended up an amount of jobs this morning, the most lengthy being the physical exams of all team participants. In a private discussion observing that, the flight cosmetic surgeon informed me they were actually possessing a very bad day on the ground. I possessed no idea ...He defined the condition to me as ideal he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was thrown for a loop, then terrified. My initial thought was actually that this wasn't an actual talk, that I was still listening closely to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It only didn't seem to be possible on this scale in our nation. I couldn't also envision the details, even prior to the news of more devastation started being available in.Vladimir came over quite promptly, picking up that one thing incredibly major was being actually explained. I swung Michael right into the component as well. They were actually also amazed and stunned. After we signed off, I tried to clarify to Vladimir as well as Michael as absolute best I could the prospective size of this show of horror in downtown Manhattan and also at the Pentagon. They precisely understood as well as were actually incredibly sympathetic.I glanced at the Globe Chart on the pc to view where over the world our company were as well as discovered that our company were happening southeast out of Canada and also would be actually skipping New England in a few moments. I zoomed around the station until I located a window that will provide me a viewpoint of New York City and got hold of the closest camera. It occurred to become a video camera, as well as I was actually looking southern from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess a strange bloom to it at the bottom of the column that was streaming south of the urban area. After reading among the newspaper article our company just acquired, I believe we were considering NY around the time of, or even quickly after, the collapse of the 2nd high rise. How awful ...I swung the electronic camera all along the East Coast to the south to view if I can see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, but nothing showed up.It was fairly hard to deal with work afterwards, though our experts possessed some to do, but on the next orbit our team crossed the US further south. All 3 people were actually working a couple of electronic cameras to try to acquire viewpoints of Nyc or Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, yet no certain resource can be observed. Everything appeared fabulous from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can't imagine the awful settings on the ground.Besides the mental impact of our nation being actually attacked and countless our citizens and perhaps some close friends being gotten rid of, the most mind-boggling feeling being actually where I am is one of seclusion.Next day ... I presume the tiredness and also mental strain received the best of me. I could not stay awake and also continue to create. Today was actually still challenging, however our company started getting additional details, plus we possessed the respect of speaking straight along with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured us that the ground crews would remain to function and also ensure our safety, and also the safe function of the Place. Our company additionally learnt through our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the System are all entirely committed to continuing secure operations and also assistance. These were actually certainly never concerns for me. I recognize all these folks! The ground teams have actually been unbelievably encouraging, really understanding of the effect of the information, and also have actually attempted to become as helpful as feasible. They have all been quite qualified as well as focused though I can't imagine the distraction of this particular form of headlines can be found in as well as the notion that authorities properties may be in jeopardy. They certainly never missed a beat, also when moving nerve center. And also a team of elderly personnel and good friends gave us a rather extensive briefing about what was actually recognized as well as what was being carried out in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually extremely valuable and sort of all of them to carry out in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually encouraging as well as handy, trying to uplink newspaper article when our very own assets were inoperable, and also stating kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually wonderful, also. They recognize it's been a tough time for me and the individuals on the ground, and also they've attempted to be as also keeled and beneficial as feasible. Michael even repaired me my favored Borscht soup for supper. And also they give me a lot of space to presume when I needed it. They are actually incredibly thoughtful and also of course outraged at whoever will perform this.I recognize numerous people in Washington, so many folks who travel to DC as well as New York City, so many that are pilots, that I really felt sure I will obtain at least a handful of items of problem over the next few times. I got the 1st one today when I knew that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that reached the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic during plebe summer when our company remained in the D&B all together, as well as we had bunches of classes with each other. I can not visualize what he should of experienced, and also currently I hear that he may possess risen even more than we can easily also think about through potentially preventing his plane from being actually the one to tackle the White Home. What a horrendous reduction, however I make certain Chic was actually battling bravely to the end. And tears don't flow the exact same in space ...It's complicated to illustrate just how it experiences to become the only American totally off the world at a time like this. The feeling that I should exist along with all of you, taking care of this, assisting in some way, is frustrating. I recognize that we perform the threshold (or beyond) of a dreadful switch in the past history of the planet. Numerous factors will definitely certainly never be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Not merely for the manies thousand as well as thousands of individuals directly influenced by these horrendous acts of terrorism, yet possibly for everybody. Our team are going to discover ourselves really feeling in different ways about dozens of points, consisting of most likely area expedition, however.It's awful to view smoke cigarettes putting coming from wounds in your own nation coming from such an awesome point of view. The duality of performing a space probe committed to improving live on the planet and also seeing life being actually ruined by such premeditated, horrendous acts is jolting to the mind, regardless of that you are actually. As well as the understanding that whatever will definitely be various than when our experts launched due to the opportunity our team land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country as well as in our leadership that we will certainly perform every little thing achievable to much better safeguard her as well as our families, and to deliver compensation wherefore has actually been carried out. I possess assurance that the good folks at NASA are going to perform every little thing necessary to proceed our goal securely and return our team safely and securely at the right time. As well as I skip each one of you very much. I can not be there along with you personally, as well as our experts possess a long way to go to finish our mission, yet be actually certain that my soul is actually along with you, as well as know you are in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... Fortunately, it's been actually a hectic full week up listed below. And also to confirm that, like our country, our company are advancing our designated course with organization as usual (as much as possible). Tonight the latest enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Area will be actually introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States time), it is going to dock along with us, at a port never utilized prior to on the nadir side of the Service Element. This new element will certainly offer us yet another area to dock a Progress or even Soyuz and will certainly supply a large airlock along with two useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which we will perform a few of prior to our experts come home.The trouble just before in dealing with today was actually insufficient information. The trouble today is actually way too much. It came at one time when email was brought back, as well as there's insufficient opportunity to read it all! Plus it is actually as well tough to manage all of it instantly. However I enjoy acquiring it, and also I actually appreciate the wonderful letters of help as well as friendly relationship I am actually receiving.Our experts are actually succeeding on board, acquiring our job performed, and also speaking about factors. Final evening our experts possessed a lengthy discussion over supper regarding the value of these celebrations, the feasible activities to comply with, and also what ought to be actually carried out. After supper, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he got from friends in Russia mentioned particularly to tell me how regretful they were actually that this taken place, stretching their acknowledgements, and talking to just how I was actually doing. Vladimir educated me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English terms are a lot very lengthy to pronounce effortlessly.) Really type folks.For the final two days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to send online programs of broadcast headlines regarding the celebration and linked stories, to see to it I was actually effectively informed. Every professional who has come on the line to review a technique or even a concern contends some point extended greetings to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed us that because of the special day of remembrance in the United States, throughout the day people had actually been actually taking florals and also edging all the walls of the United States consular office in Moscow, and also this evening they were lighting candle lights in the road outside the consulate. Just how the world has actually altered.Folks all over appear to recognize the senselessness and also terror within this strike. And the remarkable reduction. Moscow has actually managed these sort of issues in the last few years along with flat and also train battles, so they are as restless to do away with this threat as we are. But the bottom series is actually that there are actually good people just about everywhere who intend to reside in tranquility. I read through that a child asked, "United States is actually so excellent to other nations, our experts constantly aid everyone, exactly how can they despise our company a great deal?".I hope the example of collaboration as well as depend on that this space capsule plus all the people in the system display daily will at some point inspire the remainder of the globe to operate the same way. They must!However, we won't be flighting over the US during the time individuals are lighting candle lights. Do not understand if we might see that in any case. Our experts did, having said that, observe an incredibly unusual and lovely attraction a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. Our company were actually eclipsing it and also it came into view about three mins after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine reached our station, so it was still unaware. It appeared like a sizable comet with a directly, wide rear silhouetted versus the dark earth beneath. Regardless of some poor lights for a while as the sunshine reached our home window at a reduced position, I managed some video recording of it as initially our experts passed the spacecraft, and afterwards viewed it begin to catch up as it gained height as well as rate. I recorded until principal motor deadline as well as enhancer separation developed equally as our experts approached dawn on the Himalayas. An extraordinary attraction in an unforgettable full week ...Lifestyle happens, even precede. We're listed below to stay ... Frank.